I do not miss your agonies
or nameless nurses whispering

or cryptic screens that blare to life
 
disrupted dining
sleepless nights
 
while someone scours for a vein.

I do not miss the sounds of pain

high straining cries
exhausted sighs

depleted groans
remorseful moans

the subtle cursing in your breath
or euphemistic talk of death.
 
I miss no charts left by your side
 
those codes
that left us
petrified.

I miss none of the sterile smells
 
the barren rooms
unanswered bells
 
the cotton swabs dropped on the floors
 
the frantic prayers
for higher scores.

Don't think I do not think of you.
It's that I miss not missing you
 
the way things were
when all was well
 
and how we'd run
before you fell.